Invoking the spirit of the pull-out method.

Oh Spirit of the Pull-out method. Penicillin as relevant as always and nay forgot. Shall we tango this year, avoid unwanted pregnancies and cure the weak and poor with insightful funny and sometimes irrelevant posts and reposts?Well what the hell..

Heavy metal hasn't always been my thang. Being of the fairer sex not previously inclined to "angry" music, as well as growing up in an overprotected Christian environment (where "My Little Pony" was declared satanic), Heavy Metal has been a lesser explored musical genre that I only briefly brushed up against in my student days. In fact, I once teased my hair big and did the eyeliner, tight leather tights and dog collar to go to a Metal club in Pretoria with my metal keen friends. Flashbacks of uncomfortable trips to the bathroom pulling up clammy leather pants over clammy legs whilst hovering over a broken toilet seat, conversations attempted across the music in yells and the horror of the mosh pit(more like mash pit) is about the beginning and the end of my relationship with Heavy Metal.

I do know someone who swears by baking to the harmonious sounds of  Heavy Metal though.
Whatever peels your banana, I say..

Which brings me to this recently discovered internet beauty. A link to these redesigns of classic Heavy Metal Album Covers by a Brazilian designer named Rafael Melandi. Mr. Melandi's original images are available at Metazz for your perusal. A nice jazzy, 60's undertone to the redesigns playing with colour and font and often with references from the original covers. As redesigning a visual genre into other dated or historical themes give me a particular tickle, what better way to start the year with a look at these pretty Album Covers! Curious to see the original, I have posted both in comparison. Granted some of the  images work and some don't so I'll leave up to you, to decide..

 First up is this lovely little font driven image from a nice little Brazilian band named Sepultura! Such nice lyrics, my mother would say this motivational poster. However comparing it to the original that feels very much like a Hieronymous Bosch, I say bring on the fire and brimstone of the first.

Iron Maiden! Now here is a band I have heard a lot about and unlike the name suggests there are no ladies in this ensemble. I checked. Although I have no proof, I do believe this band has had the most t-shirts made in the world? Like whenever I meet a drummer or backstage sound equipment dude or the guy that works at the comic book/record store they are normally wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt.

Is this the set design for Katy Perry's Dark Horse?

When I first saw this cover, I thought, mmmm so CNN. And the name Pantera does not sound too bad AT ALL.

 

 

 

 

Now this one is just shit. Honestly Antrax is no laughing matter. Great covers both of them.

Ah the reality show! I love Sharon Osbourne on The Talk, who doesn't? How do they get those ladies lips to shine so much? Maybe its the Yerba Matte tea they are sipping? Most of them are just dumb and boring but not Miss Sharon! I recall a  beguiling tale of her convincing Ozzy that her stretchmarks were actually scars from a motorcycle accident. Perhaps also the topic of this album?

Ooooh! This must be what experts call "Death Metal"! Definitely the album Stephanie Meyers was listening to when she was penning her prose. That pentagram and nasty goat will surely give some people the wrong idea but I think they are equally charming no? Buffy Forever!

 

I know this band. I had a terrible experience where my kidney failed whilst living in Korea and my boyfriend at the time left me in the emergency room on a drip to go to the Metallica concert after stealing my bank card to buy drinks for his mates. I had to go home in a taxi, drip in hand and buy soup on the way only to wake up at midnight with him stumbling in drunkenly, passing out in bed and then wetting the bed with me in it. Nonetheless, I like Metallica.

 

 

What can I say about Motorhead except that they seem like lovely boys. And it is always beneficial to know a mechanic, a dentist and a good hairdresser. Also just look at this nice reference to the Ace of Spades. I have a wonderful story about a deck of cards and that nasty boyfriend mentioned earlier, but that is a post all on its own..

Megadeth is one of those names you just keep spelling wrong aye? Definitely a tie here for best interpretation. Both covers are reflect such sentimental love of the mother that one cannot help but be touched.

 All in all, not a bad collection of images! Some goats, aliens, pentagrams and 80's fonts, but nothing as bad as My Little Pony. People need to just chill. I will be the first to admit that maybe I've been wrong about Heavy Metal all this time. Now I wonder what these bands sound like?