Ruth.

Her name was Ruth. And she was ruthless. No Bible character, or hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold here. She was the type of gal that makes men howl and women cower. She is as common as a cold, but dresses better. And in a battle of wits, finances and time, it seemed as if Ruth may have had me beat. Far worse then good old Calvin, my cavity, Ruth turned out to be the root canal that may or may not undo me. To here and no further was the verdict. Ruth had to go. Her painful days were numbered! Hers and her ugly army of Calvins. 

Employing the services of the best in the business, Dr. Read, (that's Read not Reed) took it upon himself to take ol' Ruthy to the mattresses. It was quite a scene. There were drugs, pain, more drugs, drills, cement, talks of further pain, more cement, and a follow up appointment for next week. Ruth it seemed, would be a threat no more. For now...

But it has left me a bit swollen in the old face and hasn't done much for my quite dark hair. Which is a bummer. Not my best look, I know, but nothing beats the Post-Op Blues, then spending hours on the internet looking at things. As looking at things cheers me up, I am now going to post some of these things, which really is a collection of old Mystery Novel covers of the most ridiculous, humorous and silly kind. 

Let's start with this beauty: "The Power of Marital Love". A complete guide to sexual fulfillment in marriage. Gosh what do they know that we don't. Also first Publication...anywhere.

I don't know what I like more, the space bikini or the hordes of men with antennae. Very frightening. I also wonder very much, what the code of space is?

Hello Dominatrix! 

Don't love you..okay. No need to point a gun at me. I won't. I've never heard anyone being described as "killable" though. 

Now this is the cover for a collection of Poems!

Boy, we all killed her and display some flu like symptoms about it..oh wait, that's a cigarette, not a thermometer.

 Those guys on the cover seriously don't stand a chance to the yellow lady with the water pistol. She must have hit them real hard in the gut. Either that or they are suffering from severe food poisoning, but I have nothing to back up that idea except my suspicion that this broad is no cook. 

Wow. I don't know who Wendy is but she has some perky chested clientele that clearly like a woman's touch?

A sinister murder committed by the embodiment of the most harmful drug on this planet earth..WEED! Yes, we get that the word Marihuana is a cleverly disguised term for that pesky KILLER of ladies. It even turns your face green if you smoke it..a real tell-tale sign that someone is up to no good.

This is so my saturday night.